SACRED CONTRACT WITH YOURSELF...

Today, I had a conversation with someone who was concerned as to why I hadn't answered the phone in the last 2 days...asking me if I was "okay"...once I felt comfortable enough to confide (per. me and said person's trust level) what my reasons where and why, and offering my explanation of what was up with me , but that I was simply reassessing things , and in the middle of what I felt was the hugest transition of my life... I was at a point where I was wanting certain things to come to fruition based on what I felt I had contributed to their growth so far, and that I simply felt it necessary to set aside a few days and/or time to just mull over some details of the next steps, and what I felt was next for me in my transition to the next level...translation, I was"choppin" it up with GOD about what he was doing in my life, and what "he" would have me do next---confirming what I wanted at this stage of "me", and simply feeling an attitude of gratitude (in any case) of where I was on today...you know, just placing an order of my needs and wants...

Oddly, I got a response I didn't expect...hmmm...the person immediately assumed I was depressed and/or sad about what was going on in my life...and proceeded to tell me to just "be happy"...as odd as the advice was I accepted it and deep down inside I felt "hey, I'm not sad, and wasn't at the time I was "mulling" over what to do"--- further more, I wasn't sad about the happenings in my life at all as a matter of fact, but only reassessing my situation to see what, where, how, and when I was going to accomplish what next...as does any person who has a "plan", right? ODD? ---not to me...hard for the "other" person to absorb for reasons I never figured that ...hmmm....later I wondered if maybe the person I was talking to was sad themselves, and assumed I was too? Simply projecting and/or misunderstanding that I just wanted to simply share my thoughts, and not necessarily receive advice for them per this imaginary "problem" they assumed I was having....hence the fact I didn't say "I have a problem, what's your advice".... but instead, just needing the person to be a listening ear, and to give reasons as to why I wasn't available...

OH WELL...no time to explain to folks who can't understand...the 2 days were good for me...

... by the end of the 2 day sabbatical, the "issue" had worked it's self out, as I had anticipated---hence needing "shut-down" time to hear and recognize my answer, with no outside interferences..

Still trying to understand and/or figure out how I had gotten such an unexpected response....I asked myself? "where the channels crossed?"... I didn't consider my expectations of a decent conversation and/or just needing ear of understanding as to where I was--- to be that far fetch---at least not to me...hmmm?...Interesting, yes, to say the least!

I came to the conclusion...

That the most inner feelings you have, often times, aren't meant to be shared, and will never be fully translated for others to understand---for good reason...People are only "human", and once you open the door to share what you are feeling, often times, the person (s) on the receiving end assume you want to know what they think---or why else would you be sharing???...hmmmm---I can understand that...

You are your first and always truest confidant, and your instincts are for sure on point, when sifted through GOD' s opinion (also known as your spirit)---this may come off as if you don't need people, but quite the contrary---you simply learn when to lean on the power within, when to consult others in fellowship, and knowing that you must always be clear of what you expect from the person(s) on the other end---Let's be clear....there are times "fellowship" is manditory....but, always expect an outside opinion---not necessarily always being something you may want or need to hear, but simply recognizing it as being just an alternate assessment, outside of your own of course, of what someone else might think about it....