THE SAVIOR'S COMPLEX... ( How Dare I?....O.M.G! )

Most of the time... I'm in some of the most interesting situations where people seem to solicit my advice per their problems...(As I have accepted my ability to be non-bias,usually able to see both sides, has proven to be a blessing and a curse to some ---hahahaha---It is a gift that I have...and I accept all that comes with it) That being said, I've come to the swift realization that not everyone is ready to wrap their mind's around sound advice and/or the truth for that matter...Most of the time, the person seeking advice, 9 times out of 10, already has the answer in mind they want given to them and/or want you to agree to...but are seeking validation for their "egotistic" view of it all, not really wanting your advice at all, just a mere "I AGREE" is sufficient ...
However, on the other hand, some people genuinely want your advice and intend to apply it to the best of their ability ( but, are only seeking "confirmation" to what they have already made up in their minds to do, and only need you to 2nd their motion) ...Often times, the person who isn't ready to hear the truth will become combative and defensive...as if you just barged in on their personal affairs by force,without their solicitation, just randomly offering your opinion of what you think, while they insist that clearly "you haven't the slightest idea of what they are talking about" ,or really, what they are trying to get you to understand... making clear in their defense, that they are so offended and appalled...(I know!!! OMG, right?) ...well, to prevent this monstrosity of a situation from happening, I've learned to; (1) listen CAREFULLY to the information (2) ask qualifying questions along the way to better help me understand (3) ask myself "have I ever been through something like this and or similar" (as not to appear hypocritical)... (4)constantly soliciting for GOD to give me an answer that feels right in my spirit and the courage to tell the truth as I see it (5) reassessing the ANSWER, if there is one, and if there isn't one---not forcing an answer to save face or babysit someones feelings about their"issues"... Doing these things has allowed me to disconnect easily when need be ---not taking "their" burden(s) with me, leaving with what I've shared (and learned), with a heart of LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, and UNDERSTANDING ...
THE ASSESSMENT PROCESS:
Once, I've heard "enough" , THAT'S IT!---- because people will drain the living "hell" out of you with what they think should be important to you and take a lot of your time and energy in the process---(as if you don't have "things" to work on yourself) ...there MUST and ALWAYS be a limit to the information intake you allow and always only give as sparingly as possible with just enough of yourself per their situation---( and or never to be "too" consumed by them) If not, it's a draining situation and the JOY of great intentions to help and or give, turns into bitterness behind pure obvious SELFISHNESS and disrespect of your time!
NEW LAW PER "MY-SELF CONSTITUTION"...
----I ALWAYS ask permission in offering my opinion (Yes, ALWAYS)...I am always careful when I confirm the information (reflecting what I think I may have heard and received from my end) in the explanation of the "problem" ---only and always to assure I "clearly" understand before assuming, and most importantly , before I offer my advice---Giving only the best advice of what I think (as if to be talking to and advising myself) ... Protecting myself, if in the event the person still chooses to become defensive and non-receptive--in my experiences, this has proven to be most frustrating at times, especially when my intentions are good with my heart in the right place..(sigh)...I've learned to not allow this any longer,simply because it is draining and has proven to be a waste time & energy...
If the person on the receiving end, is ready to hear the truth (as I see it) and is open, comfortable enough to adhere to constructive criticisms (with LOVE, of course) per my assessment and is willing not take the criticisms personally...Then, and only then, do I offer my opinion (ONCE-ONLY for that particular problem) ...I've learned that when you are not as honest as you can be to start, the "receiver" can for whatever reason mistake you as a constant "crutch" and an/or "outlet" for their inert emotional outburst, problems, and feelings... (uh huh----no, no, no, no, no!)...making them the forever returning problem....(YIKES!)
Forcing you to realizing that the advice you gave them wasn't clear with the "terms and conditions" you intended to relay initially...leaving them to always feel comfortable when the urge to simply "let loose" about what ever arises (when ever they want too) and thinking it's okay to do so...In no way would I ever dare to blame the person who's seeking the advice, but solely placing the blame where it belongs ---on myself (a.k.a--the problem solver) for allowing this repeat offense, as it relates to consuming my life, to happen over and over again...If for whatever reason the problem and solution weren't addressed and made clear the 1st time around, there would appear to be a slight, maybe even major, "communication" problem... leading them to believe that you will always be their "SAVIOR" (so 2 speak) never forcing them to lean or self (Or GOD even!!!) becoming an enabler ( instead of a helper) and preventing some much needed/necessary life lessons of how not to be "repeat-offenders" and how not to go in circles with the SAME life dilemmas...(WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!) .... this being said, it can ware and tear on a relationship from both ends, and sometimes bring the relationship to it's unfortunate demise...as one person feels slighted and worn out from the selfishness consuming the friendship...the person on the giving end could easily come to the conclusion that the advice they recommended, the time spent, and the energy put in to it "helping", was not respected and not saw as being valuable enough that the person receiving could understand and or apply...

1 more random thought subsiding in the escapades and/or caverns of my mind's most honest complexities to be solved!.....(sigh)...THX,again! =D